When I was young I wanted to be a performer. At least I thought that I did. If you play music and get good at it, I reasoned, then you go on to be a performer. I enjoyed performing but I was seldom passionate about it. If I didn't have a gig I wasn't heartbroken, but I admit to feeling a bit embarrassed around my musician friends.
For unrelated reasons I consciously gave up performing when I was 25 and didn't actively return to it again for 10 years. I had a couple of gigs during that time but it was just to pick up some extra money, not to have a career. At 33 I realized that I had been teaching for several years and really enjoyed it. Just as important, I seemed to be pretty good at it. I had regular day jobs at that time and I performed them adequately (or dismally depending on who you talked to). I decided that if I could figure a way to pay the bills teaching then that was the way to go.
About ten years later one of my college students asked me how he could follow in my footsteps. "How did you get started?" he asked. For the first time I really thought about it and realized that this profession chased me. I know that sounds like a cliche, but I never applied for a job. I taught at one university, two four-year colleges, and two community colleges without ever applying. They asked me. I created the guitar programs at two of those schools from the ground up. So I had to explain that to the student and then say, "If you want to do what I do, first thing is to get very, very lucky!"
Two years ago I was asked to be the choir director at my church. I don't know anything about doing this and was hesitant. Actually I flat out said "No" the first two times I was asked but my pastor is persistent.
As a choir we have a few things working against us. We don't have an accompanist so I do it with the guitar. We sing traditional, not contemporary, music and lean toward the great classical tradition of the church. We also have some wonderful singers but they need a strong singer to lean on and we are short in that department. So momentarily we are not up to singing the harmonies as I would like.
I spend my time listening to wonderful choirs and their repertoire and wondering how I can get our choir to get to that level. However, two weeks ago I listened to our choir singing a lovely tune in unison as I strummed my guitar and realized that this humble rendition was quite nice. As I begin to focus on what we can do instead of what we can't do I realize that excellence (technical and artistic) is well within our grasp. A simple shift on my part is all that it takes.
I'm sorry it took me two years to figure it out, but I'm happy that I finally did. I thought that I needed to create a cathedral experience and instead all I needed was to focus on our strengths. I'm finally excited about the future of this little choir and the contribution we will be able to make.